If there was ever a song to define a key turning moment in my life it would be "By the Grace of God," by Katy Perry.  This song literally pulled me off the bathroom floor when I felt I couldn't take it anymore! To live fully ALIVE is both extremely rewarding and extremely exhausting. I go all in. Often too quick with little regard for pain of failure.  When I love, I love hard... When I fail, I hurt deep.  It's the equal pleasure and pain of being a LEO!  My trust was once freely given but time and pain has hardened that. BUT no matter the trials or tribulations I still truly believe that it's By The Grace of God that I'm here... so I might as well Live fully ALIVE.

"By the Grace of God" Lyrics, Katy Perry

I was 27 was surviving my return of Saturn
A long vacation didn’t sound so bad
Was full of secrets locked up tight like iron melting
Running on empty so out of gas
Thought I wasn’t enough
Found I wasn’t so tough
Layin’ on the bathroom floor
We were living on a fault line
And I felt the fault was all mine
Couldn’t take it anymore

By the grace of God (There was no other way)
I picked myself back up (I knew I had to stay)
I put one foot in front of the other
And I looked in the mirror
And decided to stay
Wasn’t gonna let love take me up
That way

I thank my sister for keeping my head above the water
When the truth was like swallowing sand
Now every morning
Oh there is no more mourning over
Can finally see myself again
I know I am enough
Possible to be loved
It was not about me
Now I have to rise above
Let the universe call the bluff
Yeah the truth’ll set you free

By the grace of God (There was no other way)
I picked myself back up (I knew I had to stay)
I put one foot in front of the other
And I looked in the mirror
And decided to stay
Wasn’t gonna let love take me up
Oh, that way, that way, no
Not in the name
In the name of love
That way, that way, no
I am not giving up

By the grace of God
I picked myself back up
I put one foot in front of the other
And I looked in the mirror (Looked in the mirror)
Looked in the mirror (Looked in the mirror)

By the grace of God (There was no other way)
I picked myself back up (I knew I had to stay)
I put one foot in front of the other
And I looked in the mirror
And decided to stay
Wasn’t gonna let love take me up
That way 

I asked friends and family to give me three virtues that make a family.  Here is what I received: 

The first and foremost key to any relationship is communication. Understanding each other is extremely important. You don't have to agree but you do have to understand WHAT the person is saying and WHAT they say they feel.

Understanding the WHY is often very difficult.  I've learned that WHY someone feels something can sometime be tied back to past relationships, history or just previous experience telling you one thing and your partner another. 

When you focus on the WHAT, you can break down current feelings and begin to understand the built in expectations that your partner might have. 

Start with an easy exercise. List the top three virtues you feel make a family. Ask your partner to do the same. Do they match? If they don't it might help explain where frustrations begin.  If consistency is #1 on your list, yet it's 5th or 6th on your partners list that might explain why you get easily frustrated when your partner changes things or doesn't do things this week similar to how they did them last week. 

Try this exercise between parents, a parent and a child or with any relationship you have within your family, immediate and extended. Try asking the question and let me know if you find out anything interesting!