 I’m passionately driven to impact who our children become. People often divide over differences, discouraging their children to be around other parents, children or families that don't look or act like them. The truth is, now more than ever there is a new kind of family. A family made solely of Love. Our world is in constant motion. Rarely do children start and finish their lives in the same house, the same town or even the same country. Things change and with change often the only thing YOU can control is the Love and compassion you share with others.
Divorce happens, death happens, parents leave, children are raised by single parents, their grandparents or aunts and uncles, children are raised by someone not related to them...families change. And the way some define "family" needs to change too. Where there is a child and a caregiver for that child there is a family! No matter skin color, faith, ethnicity, same gender, multi-lingual, handicap, illness, birthmarks, tattoos or the fact that my father has blue eyes and mine are brown. We are a Family. No two families are exactly the same. What most caregivers have in common however; is a desire to help their child become the best version of themselves. We start by asking questions, teaching our children to be responsible and guiding them in their decision making. Aside from one's personal faith, I suggest we start at tolerance and acceptance BUT move to inclusion! Let's allow our children to be comforted by the value of their family, regardless of what that family "looks" like. Help them feel that they are part of something UNIQUE and the best type of family out there is Your Kind of Family.
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 Take a moment and think of those who you consider to be your family? Is it purely defined by just your immediate family? Or perhaps those "related" to you by blood or marriage. Family is much more than either of those. It's the people in your life that treat you with respect, kindness and love.
I've heard so many sad stories of "families" who disengage from their adult child when the child doesn't live the life they wanted for them. The countless amount of suicides by children kicked out of their home when their parents learned of their sexual orientation to only suffer on the streets, homeless, alone and scared. Suicide becomes the way out for these youth. A tragedy that will never make sense. For the majority, a child is brought into this world out of love. Either through intimacy, adoption or insemination, the child was desired, to be loved as part of a family. When the child doesn't become who the caregiver wants them to be, why is it so easy to write that person out of their life? Sexual orientation is just one point of difference that creates fear in others. Think about the people around you. Is there anyone you know that doesn't talk about their family? Perhaps they don't have family living in the same area? Perhaps they do but they're not invited to family events. There are so many points of disagreement these days that it's easy to find conflict with the people that say they love you the most. Don't let the absence of shared blood get in the way of identifying who really cares about you OR who you really care about. Family is not about blood. Don't count your worth by who in your family loves you today! Love yourself and you never have to look far when you need a pick me up! Don't forget to look for those that don't have others. While we might be the main character in our lives, we have a chance to be the supporting character in the lives of others.  How can you expect to find someone to truly love you, if you don't first love yourself? I'm not talking the arrogant, egotistical admiration of self, I'm talking about a sincere belief in yourself that you are worthy to be loved. Because you are... Worthy!  If there was ever a song to define a key turning moment in my life it would be "By the Grace of God," by Katy Perry. This song literally pulled me off the bathroom floor when I felt I couldn't take it anymore! To live fully ALIVE is both extremely rewarding and extremely exhausting. I go all in. Often too quick with little regard for pain of failure. When I love, I love hard... When I fail, I hurt deep. It's the equal pleasure and pain of being a LEO! My trust was once freely given but time and pain has hardened that. BUT no matter the trials or tribulations I still truly believe that it's By The Grace of God that I'm here... so I might as well Live fully ALIVE. "By the Grace of God" Lyrics, Katy Perry I was 27 was surviving my return of Saturn A long vacation didn’t sound so bad Was full of secrets locked up tight like iron melting Running on empty so out of gas Thought I wasn’t enough Found I wasn’t so tough Layin’ on the bathroom floor We were living on a fault line And I felt the fault was all mine Couldn’t take it anymore By the grace of God (There was no other way) I picked myself back up (I knew I had to stay) I put one foot in front of the other And I looked in the mirror And decided to stay Wasn’t gonna let love take me up That way I thank my sister for keeping my head above the water When the truth was like swallowing sand Now every morning Oh there is no more mourning over Can finally see myself again I know I am enough Possible to be loved It was not about me Now I have to rise above Let the universe call the bluff Yeah the truth’ll set you free By the grace of God (There was no other way) I picked myself back up (I knew I had to stay) I put one foot in front of the other And I looked in the mirror And decided to stay Wasn’t gonna let love take me up Oh, that way, that way, no Not in the name In the name of love That way, that way, no I am not giving up By the grace of God I picked myself back up I put one foot in front of the other And I looked in the mirror (Looked in the mirror) Looked in the mirror (Looked in the mirror) By the grace of God (There was no other way) I picked myself back up (I knew I had to stay) I put one foot in front of the other And I looked in the mirror And decided to stay Wasn’t gonna let love take me up That way I asked friends and family to give me three virtues that make a family. Here is what I received:
The first and foremost key to any relationship is communication. Understanding each other is extremely important. You don't have to agree but you do have to understand WHAT the person is saying and WHAT they say they feel.
Understanding the WHY is often very difficult. I've learned that WHY someone feels something can sometime be tied back to past relationships, history or just previous experience telling you one thing and your partner another. When you focus on the WHAT, you can break down current feelings and begin to understand the built in expectations that your partner might have. Start with an easy exercise. List the top three virtues you feel make a family. Ask your partner to do the same. Do they match? If they don't it might help explain where frustrations begin. If consistency is #1 on your list, yet it's 5th or 6th on your partners list that might explain why you get easily frustrated when your partner changes things or doesn't do things this week similar to how they did them last week. Try this exercise between parents, a parent and a child or with any relationship you have within your family, immediate and extended. Try asking the question and let me know if you find out anything interesting!
110 Pound Sailfish - When you think you want to quit just tell yourself... Quitting is not an option. It might seem hard but most things in life are, if you're truly living! Never Give up!
 It's funny how having kids can change even the smallest of things. Yes I do own some "good wine", it's over in the wine cabinet and now only opened for special occasions. I've had periods in my life where I would spend $40-80 on a bottle of wine, which I know pales in comparison to a true wine enthusiast
And, since I'm not the elite connoisseur and never will be, I've discovered many of the bottles at Target will suit me just fine. I've moved from dry to sweet wines and the Skinny Girl Moscato is one of my favorites. Perhaps it's having a little girl that automatically makes me enjoy all things sweet (often to the detriment of my weight loss goals) While visiting my mom, I laughed upon seeing this in the fridge and it made me wonder if they make wine in tubes like yogurt that you can freeze and enjoy in the summer?  So excited to participate in the Greenwood, AR Freedom Fest. I had such an exciting time sharing my books with my hometown. The best part was listening to others tell stories on how they would like to publish a book. My advice... make it happen! Self-publishing is a great way to start and gives such gratification when you see your hard work in print!
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ShannonMy blog is about what I've learned, my life, being a mom, foster and adoption and what it's like to LIVE aLIVE! Archives
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